I love makeup. I could wander around Sephora for hours. I'd choose to watch beauty tutorials on YouTube over TV any day. I love the pretty packaging, the little details, the way makeup can completely transform the way I feel about myself.
I've never not worn makeup. Since I was in middle school, I've slapped on a full face of foundation to cover the skin discoloration and acne. I've hidden my pin straight eye lashes with eye lash curlers and multiple coats of mascara that promise to curl and plump my lashes. Give me red lipstick and I can conquer the world.
With this love of makeup also comes an addiction to hiding the bare skin. This love of makeup fueled my hatred of my natural complexion in high school. I hated my face without concealer and mascara so much that I would sleep with makeup on at sleepovers.
It's not pretty to admit what you'll do to be pretty.
So a few weeks ago, I decided to be brave. I decided to stop wearing makeup. Even if I was going out with friends. Even on vacation. Even if it was date night. No makeup.
Here's what happened:
I stopped being so self-centered.
Because I wasn't wearing makeup anymore, I didn't need to look in the mirror a million times per day. I didn't need to check my winged eyeliner or lipstick. I didn't need to see if my concealer was creasing. I didn't need to look at myself on iPhone to double check anything. It was completely liberating.
And because I wasn't wearing makeup, I didn't have that confidence boost and wasn't constantly thinking, "I look SO good", which meant I spent less time thinking about myself. It really helped wipe the sense of self from myself. Which meant I had more time to focus on other people and other things in my life.
I saw beauty in others.
Whenever I see other girls, I'm always the first to note, "Wow, her makeup looks so good!" or "I wonder how she did her eyebrows". (Don't pretend like you don't check out other girls. It's total girl code.) But when I took off the makeup, I noticed natural beauty in other people. Instead of my eyes only gravitating to the girls that were wearing makeup in an effort to check out their makeup, I found myself noticing other girls who weren't wearing a lot of makeup either. Instead of wanting to figure out what makeup everyone was wearing, I noticed who had a naturally gorgeous skin tone or who rocked a gorgeous smile without lipstick.
I spent more time enjoying life.
Less time in front of the mirror means more time in front of something else. When I was on vacation, I didn't wear makeup not even one time. Instead of spending time primping in front of the mirror, I was able to come home, take a shower and then head off to the next thing I wanted to do. I spent less time worried and more time enjoying things I ACTUALLY enjoy.
I gained confidence.
Walking around bare faced is kind of a ballsy move. When I took off my makeup and let people see me for what I was, I had to own it. It's a sink or swim moment. Walking around with nothing to hide behind meant that I had to accept what I looked like. I had no where to go, nothing to turn to. This was it. I was it. I was all I had. And that made me realize that I have to love what my mama gave me!