As I sit here and write this, I'm in the hardest semester of my life. When I was applying to college, this was not what I imagined. This isn't what you see in the movies because this isn't pretty.
If I could give you a snapshot of what this semester looks like for me, it would be really late nights, staying up cramming, and really early mornings, heading off to a job in an elementary school that I pursued because of the hands-on experience it would give me. My days are spent busy, rushing and so many different assignments and places to be that my head is spinning most days.
I have had to say no to many things that are fun and exciting so that I can put school first. I currently am student teaching almost 50 second and third graders and my first few weeks, I walked out of the school in tears. I was so frustrated by my lack of classroom management and I was certain that I couldn't do this job.
So that's where I'm at right now.
But I want you to know something. You are worth it.
These late nights, the confusion over standards, how to work a smart board and how to explain non-Newtonian fluids to third graders who look at me like I have three heads, the tears, the days I walk out of the classroom, sweating and exhausted and completely unsure of my future, the mornings I wake up exhausted so I can put this job on my resume that I'll hand to your principal one day.... YOU ARE WORTH IT ALL.
While I have questioned my ability to be a good teacher, I have never questioned if you are worth the work or the stress.
I know I am pursuing a career that takes a lot and doesn't give much back. I know that I have been in college for almost 5 years now. It's taken a lot of time, money, energy and stress to get where I am. I know that my career won't pay much. I know that I'll have to bring my work home with me- whether it's your graded papers or the really heavy stuff you divulged to me about your home life.
I know that I'll have to have the terrifying conversations with your parents when you act out in class. I know that I will have early mornings and late nights, and be expected to come in every morning with a huge, silly smile on my face to greet you- no matter what I'm feeling inside. I know I'm entering a field where there is little appreciation, and many expectations. I know the pressure I face if you don't do well on your standardized tests.
I know that to have a classroom of 25 students is to have 25 little pieces of your heart, walking out and about in the world.
But you are worth it. I want this job because I want you to have a better life. I want to give you the information you need to be a person who makes great decisions, who makes this world a better place, who makes your life count. I want to encourage you every day that you make my life better and I love you. I want you to know that no matter what you say or do or how you act in my class, you will always have an someone (me) who is your cheerleader, who has your back, who believes in you.
I will put up with a thousand days of runny noses, germy desks, confused looks, temper tantrums, calling out, messy classrooms and wiggly teeth if it means that I get to make your life a little brighter.
We still have some time before I meet you, but I want you to know that I'm working really, really hard for you. I want to make sure I'm as prepared as I can possibly be so that you have the best time in my classroom, and that you're extra prepared to move on to the next grade.
Wherever you are, I am SO excited to meet you. We are going to be really good friends.
I just know it.
Your future biggest cheerleader